Last month I attended a talk at Hay House by Gabby Bernstein entitled Judgement Detox.
A pretty challenging title. Judgement is so embedded in our culture and psyche that we aren’t even aware of our judgement. But, motherhood and judgement seem to be inextricably linked.
We are judged as mothers even before we conceive- with unsolicited questions from interested parties asking when we’re going to conceive. During pregnancy our bodies appear to be public property and a target for random strangers to comment on the shape and size of our growing bellies.
And parenthood full of judgements: how we give birth, feed, parent and our choices around when to return to work. All of these choices are subject to judgement, not just from friends and family, but also from strangers, health professionals and the media. It seems inescapable.
Gabby Bernstein is a spiritual teacher- she teaches meditation and kundalini yoga in a very accessible way. She is very honest in what she shares.
Some of the key messages I gained are here:
1 Judgement becomes an addiction like smoking to drinking and it’s so pervasive that we are hardly aware of it. It makes us feel disconnected and we lack compassion towards ourselves and others. It’s certainly challenging to let go of judging others but perhaps even more challenging to let go of judging ourselves.
2 Vulnerability- not being vulnerable in a naive way buy having the ability to be open and honest with each other is a way to break down barriers between ourselves and to help and support each other. Gabby’s message here is to be real, share your truth with others and have the confidence to speak more authentically.
3 Imposter Syndrome
In the Q&A an audience member asked Gabby if she had experienced Imposter Syndrome, to which she responded Of course! We can’t step into the light of who we want to be unless we feel the discomfort that gets in the way. Gabby recounted how a year ago she had been a workaholic- telling people to meditate and relax but totally stressed out herself. But today she is a brand new person as she has recognised the imposter syndrome and moved through it.
4 Judgement and discernment
There were few male members of the audience but their questions were around vulnerability: does not judging mean letting people walk all over you? Gabby’s response was that some people and some situations are toxic and negative and it’s absolutely fine to remove yourself from the situation. This does not serve my highest good and walk away with love and grace. In other situations we might look at a person who triggers us and ask: What is my resistance to this person revealing to me?
If you’re not familiar with Gabby Bernstein I would highly recommend her books Judgement Detox and The Universe Has Your Back. For something lightweight her video for using meditation with your children is here.
Two mantras to help you along the path of judgement detox are:
I choose to judge nothing that occurs
It’s good to feel good.
What do you think? Is it time for a judgement detox?